Quiz: Are you a McGill Student or a Kafka Character?

The Wellness Hub has put you on hold for 15 minutes or longer

The experience of trying to get assistance from offices at McGill has left you emotionally exhausted and numb

You’ve resigned yourself to eating bread and butter as an excuse for “dinner” on at least one occasion

You’ve dragged yourself through the snow on the way to McMed, only to watch the building steadily recede as you get closer and closer

Upon waking up as a bug, you thought, “How about if I sleep a little bit longer and forget all this nonsense,” instead of having any emotional reaction whatsoever

You like to think of yourself as an individual, but deep down you know you’re just a cog in the capitalist machine

You’re a SSMU employee, but you’re unsure of what you’re actually supposed to be doing

McGill Security has yelled at you in the library for seemingly no reason

You’ve been put in the Zoom waiting room for over an hour while the SSMU BoD/Legislative Council was in confidential session

You tried to get accommodations from the OSD but were told that you didn’t have the correct documents/were asking for the wrong services

You’ve gotten lost in the upper floors of McLennan for days on end

Your life has been reduced to nothing more than a series of bureaucratic interactions; the days are blurring into one another, each one drearier than the last

You’ve stared wistfully through the plexiglass barriers in the library longing to foster a meaningful human connection but you’re such a shell of your former self that you don’t even know if that’s possible

You’ve walked home in the dark during the dead of winter, the sun having set at 4:30 p.m.

MRO emails are supposed to have all the answers but you still have no clue what to do if you contract COVID-19

You’ve felt helpless in the face of McGill’s corporate interests

You received a vague response to your inquiry about whether the statue of James McGill will be removed from campus because nobody knows when the ✨Bicentennial Year✨ actually ends

Your quality of life is subject to the whims of invisible authority figures

You can no longer tell if the pit in your stomach is from the Montreal chill or deep-seated existential dread

You still don’t know the difference between the Deans, Provost, Deputy Provost, and Principal, but it doesn’t matter because they all wield immense power in the University anyhow

You can’t wait to graduate and escape this bleak neoliberal hellscape, but you also know you’ll ultimately just be trading this hellscape for another one

You’ve had to learn Robert’s Rules of Order to participate in student governance

MyCourses keeps notifying you about a quiz you need to take which doesn’t actually exist

You’ve never been able to get in touch with your academic advisor and you’re beginning to wonder if they’re even real

Your labour union has been locked in negotiations with McGill and there’s no end in sight

School has taken on a Sisyphean quality and you can’t possibly keep up with your assignments

You’re vaguely aware of something called the “Senate” and “Board of Governors,” but what actually goes on in those meetings? Fuck if I know.

You’ve watched Manfredi attempt to explain why the Faculty of Law shouldn’t unionize

You were here for the SSMU j-board ruling on the Reference regarding the Reference Question on the 2017 Motion Concerning Legislative Council’s Right to Legislate

You’re a member of the famed “Ad Hoc Committee to Create Additional Offices to Promote Bureaucracy and Managerial Feudalism”