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OSD Introduces Volunteer Slide-Sharers

This Friday, the OSD proudly announced their newest volunteer position, available to all members of the McDill community by application.

The new role is a perfect way to provide a valuable service to students at McDill, “reducing positive outcomes while increasing barriers to education for every student.”

Known as “slide-sharers,” these students will simply stand at the front of a lecture hall regularly for a semester, sharing information displayed on the projection screens by reading it aloud. They will craft syllabi and design lesson plans, working together with Slide-Sharing Assistants, or SSAs (volunteer, by application). In addition, they will field questions from other students and provide supplemental “reading assignments,” which will undoubtedly enrich the learning experiences of McDill undergraduates.

Slide-sharing is a critical job, and one which the OSD has vocally expressed their appreciation for. “We just know that the university couldn’t survive without our semi-paid volunteer slide-sharers,” one OSD representative told the Weekly, “They truly are the irreplaceable foundation of our students’ time at McDill, and their work ensures that each and every student is able to achieve their fullest potential.”

According to the OSD website, volunteer slide-sharers will receive 30 minutes of formally recognized volunteer service on their co-curricular record per class per semester. Additionally, at the end of each semester, all slide-sharers are automatically entered into a drawing for a gently-used $2 Tim Hortons coupon, which can be redeemed exclusively at the Tim Hortons at 1195 Danforth Ave, Toronto, Ontario M4J 1M7.

When asked why slide-sharers will not receive consistent, substantial compensation for their hours of hard work, the OSD representative sprinted into the bathroom. Next week, the OSD is set to announce that note-sharers will be paid exclusively in 1967 Canadian pennies.

Pandora Wotton