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We The People Must Communize Printer Ink

My friends: how many times have you, an honest, humble, pas-d’hygiene-de-la-vie proletarian, trudged wearily into your local Best Buy, purchased a single cartridge of printer ink, and woefully plodded home, feeling robbed of your money produced over three hours of labour? $56.75 for a tri-colour ink cartridge from HP? Who do I look like, Jeff fucking Bezos? Comrades, I say that we must no longer tolerate – nay, suffer under – a system that commodifies the bare resources we require as human beings to survive, and forces us to labour endlessly to purchase these resources and sustain our own existence (by that I mean printer ink…just printer ink…an allegory? What?).

I believe that it is time for a revolution. And that revolution, my friends, begins with dismantling the printer industry. Seize the means of production of printer ink! Let us produce our own ink! Radicalize your neighbours, your family, your cats, your friends in STEM!

We will produce our own printer ink and ensure that this resource is free to all (thanks friends in STEM!) until the private companies, who profit off our desperation to print a hard copy of an essay that we wrote three hours before the 8:30am class where we were supposed to hand in the ten-page, Chicago-style, 12pt, Times New Roman fruits of our labour, realize the threat of our resistance. And when that time comes, we will have communized the very resource they commodified. We must withhold our ink from the bourgeoisie oppressors – they will only ensure that it is, once again, commodified, and that it is assigned monetary value. This is how we will incite the revolution. Without its proletariat patrons, printer companies will sell their commodity to the rich at a ludicrous price, and the contradictions of the system of capitalism will make themselves clear. Printer ink is already more expensive than oil – have you ever thought about that? Withhold our resources from the rich until they hear our demands! Take advantage of the instability of the system of capitalism and uproot it entirely! Fuck the rich! Abolish all private property! That’s not your printer, it’s ours!