Knight of Wands
Love that you’re finally getting your license, just know that Mercury’s in retrograde so you might get banned from all the driving centres in Ontario!
Ace of Swords
Instead of jerking off to erotic fanfiction maybe you should try going to bed at a reasonable hour
Six of Cups
Get your roommate flowers! I’m sure they’d appreciate it :)
King of Cups
For Halloween, dress as the main character of tonally inconsistent fable about a disaffected crone discovering the joys of root vegetables and warm milk
Five of Wands
Oh… this is just a mess
Stop looking for a ““boyfriend”” and start looking for a feywild tree spirit to help you find mushrooms on your urban foraging adventures<3
Six of Swords
Pilot a gondola down the St. Lawrence and celebrate National Calzone Day in style! Strega Nona would be proud :’)
Three of Pentacles
One of these days your prof is gonna ask you why you’re wearing a Teletubbies onesie. Tinky Winky? Really?
King of Wands
If you’re going to wear your blanket like a cape, might as well find a nice walking stick and go for a stroll! Majestic :)
Page of Wands
Ah, I see — or should I say smell ;) –you’re one of those essential oil bitches! Mmmm ylang ylang
Light all the incense you want, but you really need to clean your freezer….
Four of Pentacles
I know you said a leprechaun gave them to you, but I think you just had one too many shrooms last night. Babes, it’s chocolate, not “pure gold from ‘neath the kelly green hills”
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