Aries
Knight of Wands
 | Love that you’re finally getting your license, just know that Mercury’s in retrograde so you might get banned from all the driving centres in Ontario! |
Gemini
Ace of Swords
 | Instead of jerking off to erotic fanfiction maybe you should try going to bed at a reasonable hour |
Taurus
Six of Cups
 | Get your roommate flowers! I’m sure they’d appreciate it :) |
Cancer
King of Cups
 | For Halloween, dress as the main character of tonally inconsistent fable about a disaffected crone discovering the joys of root vegetables and warm milk |
Leo
Five of Wands
 | Oh… this is just a mess |
Libra
The Lovers
 | Stop looking for a ““boyfriend”” and start looking for a feywild tree spirit to help you find mushrooms on your urban foraging adventures<3 |
Virgo
Six of Swords
 | Pilot a gondola down the St. Lawrence and celebrate National Calzone Day in style! Strega Nona would be proud :’) |
Scorpio
Three of Pentacles
 | One of these days your prof is gonna ask you why you’re wearing a Teletubbies onesie. Tinky Winky? Really? |
Sagittarius
King of Wands
 | If you’re going to wear your blanket like a cape, might as well find a nice walking stick and go for a stroll! Majestic :) |
Aquarius
Page of Wands
 | Ah, I see — or should I say smell ;) –you’re one of those essential oil bitches! Mmmm ylang ylang |
Capricorn
Death
 | Light all the incense you want, but you really need to clean your freezer…. |
Pisces
Four of Pentacles
 | I know you said a leprechaun gave them to you, but I think you just had one too many shrooms last night. Babes, it’s chocolate, not “pure gold from ‘neath the kelly green hills” |
Follow Mama Matina on Instagram for more content like this.