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Queer History Month Horoscopes

What do the sapphic stars have in store for you this year?

Happy Queer History Month! Happy Scorpio season! Let us give you some sage, thymely advice. Roommates, cats, queerplatonic non-sensual companions, that gal your grandma calls your “good friend,” gather ‘round! If you have a star sign, we’ve got some truths for you – all 100% factual, and that’s the McDill Gaily guarantee. <3 

Scorpio: Congrats on being born! Those depop sellers really appreciate you singlehandedly keeping their businesses alive.

Sagittarius: consider bisexuality. savor the concept. really mull that one over. just saying.

Capricorn: stop overthinking your haircut/hair colour/whatever. you’re hot. make some bread.

Aquarius: Have you taken a break recently? Your friends care about you, bud. Let them put you first for once!

Pisces: When was the last time you washed your vibrator? Think about it. Stop sending tiktoks to your not-even-ex.

Aries: Stop selling your baby clothes to Scorpios on depop!!!! That’s not Y2K, it’s a Toddler size 2!!!

Taurus: Leave your house. Take a walk. Eat a leaf. It’s whatever, man.

Gemini: We know that AOC is hot, but stop worshipping political figures. And get that tattoo (if it’s safe in your area).

Cancer: You’re doing a great job, we promise. Your tiktok fame will come naturally, don’t sweat it!

Leo: Something is telling you to contribute to the McGill Daily… I wonder what it is? Water your plants.

Virgo: stream ungodly hour by chloe x halle, take a bubble bath, you can do this!

Libra: straightness isn’t like, criminal, but it’s also not a great long-term strategy. If you’ve already abandoned that road more taken, we recommend The Watermelon Woman. It’s on Kanopy.