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Big Suze Says “Trans Rights!”


According to sources, Principal Big Suze allegedly declared “trans rights!” this past weekend in conversations with the Buddle Huddle. This utterance came as validation to all transgender students on campus, verifying that McDill has now reached true equality for students of all genders.

When reached for comment, Big Suze was happy to discuss her work as a queer rights advocate. “It’s only natural that I would say trans rights,” she said. “McDill is proud to be a school where people can be misgendered equally, regardless of how they identify.”

When asked about students’ inability to modify their honorific on Minerva, she said that “this is actually a way that McDill is promoting gender diversity. We’re showing transgender students that it’s okay to be flamboyant. McDill wants to promote a culture where trans men can embrace being called Mrs. We need transgendereds to understand that it’s the 21st century and gender roles are dead.”

“McDill is proud to be a school where people can be misgendered equally, regardless of how they identify.” — Big Suze

She also told The McDill Gaily about improvements in the Glossy Hellness Wub. According to an insider tip to the Gaily, psychiatrists have learned, over years of asking students to explain their genders, to only take two months to correctly gender patients, a fantastic improvement from the previous ten-month record. Students also have access to special queer therapists now, so that they can explain their identities not to white cishet men, but rather to GAY white cis men.

Buddle was also reached for comment by the Gaily regarding his experiences witnessing this proclamation. “I’m so glad I could witness such a historic event,” he said. “As a proud heterosexual twink, I feel a strong connection to the BLT+ community.”

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