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Anarchist Aunt Abbey

An anarchist solves your relationship problems!

Dear Anarchist Aunt Abbey,

My boyfriend and I have always had a healthy sex life. In the past week he’s become uncommunicative and distant. He’s now refusing to sleep with me at all.

I’m a 22-year-old Arts student, my boyfriend is 23 and studying Occult Sciences. I’m a Taurus and he’s a Pisces. We’ve been together since first year and have been madly in love ever since. I’ve asked him if there’s someone else but he says there isn’t. I’m at my wit’s end. He says he still loves me but he’s just not interested in sex anymore.

Dear Anarchist Abbey, what am I to do? I’m still deeply in love with my boyfriend and don’t want our relationship to end. However, I’m afraid that if he doesn’t relent soon I’m going to have to go somewhere else to seek intimacy. I just can’t go back to watching Netflix by myself.

Gladys Demoiselle, U5 Arts

Dear Gladys,

There are many reasons why a long term partner could suddenly lose interest in the physical side of a relationship, and it’s important to respect your boyfriend’s wishes. At McGall, pressure from schoolwork, rez fires, hangovers, or simply just exhaustion can lead to a flagging interest in sex.

However, on this occasion, I fear that your boyfriend’s lack of energy in the bedroom is due to him worrying himself sick over McGall’s investment portfolio in the fossil fuel industry, which makes us all complicit in overwhelming and total environmental destruction.

The only way for you to put the spark back into your love life is to hope and pray that CAMSR will review its investment policy in the coming weeks. And you should have fucking signed that petition.