Compendium  Radicals distracted by pointless online games, quizzes

Administrators and police “pleased” with general calm

A phenomenon has swept the loosely defined ‘radical community’ at McGall campus and more broadly in the city. It threatens to undo the work of years of organization and mobilization. It runs deeply and insidiously, more difficult to pin down and challenge than any external force.

“Protests are devoid of young people,” said Jambon Bramdom, community activist and organizer in an interview with The Weekly. “Last week I was at a demonstration against austerity. You know, usual stuff. But nobody under the age of 30 was to be seen.”

Bramdom pointed to an app open on hir ePhone. “I think stuff like this is to blame.” Ze was indicating the recently released puzzle game, 2,178, which ze described as “some bullshit about moving numbers around a board? Whatever.”

Peein’ More, a former activist and member of the Board of Directors of Association of McGall Employees Working Staff (AMEWS), explained his recent departure from several different organizing committees. “It started with a little public transit simulator game…look, it’s hard to explain.”

AMEWS, and other organizations, have felt the strain of losing student members in a slow but steady drain, as word spreads between them. When pressed for further comment, More waved his hand absently before returning to his phone.

Former editor at The Weekly, Anne Gee, was similarly vague as she discussed her resignation from the paper. “I just need this. I need it,” Gee hissed, talking to nobody and yet everybody who would listen.

Gee continued, “I’m so close this time. 2,178. 2,178. I see the grid when I close my eyes.”

An anonymous tip suggested that Gee played the game for ten hours straight the day before her interview with The Weekly, but Gee declined to comment. “I don’t see time anymore,” Gee explained. “Just the grid.”

Speaking on behalf of the McGall administration, Media Relations Aficionado Sweetie Boy-Sweet described the situation as “an exciting time to be alive.”

“There used to be a lot of fear about the power of social media. You know, all these young people talking to each other and organizing these awfully public demonstrations. But now, all they’re doing is talking about what character from Girls they would be. The tables have turned.”

The Moontreal police force are taking a more proactive approach, reportedly teaming up with BuzzFeed, an entertainment website and host of many such quizzes, to better target a “radical demographic.” Quizzes such as, “Are you a Slavoj or a Noam?” and, “What subset of anarchism best suits you?” are already gaining increased traffic among young radicals.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Bramdom said, referencing the efficiency of such distraction tactics. “It’s like they want them to win. I mean, come on. Who even wants to be a Slavoj?”