Compendium  Administration releases building blueprints, access codes

Small, “lair-like” space discovered beneath SSMU building

In an unprecedented show of solidarity with Cancordia students currently embroiled in legal action over Access to Information (ATI) requests, the McGall administration has released blueprints to the entire McGall University campus, as well as access codes “to all the buildings.”

Speaking at the release of the documents, McGall PR Mascot Sweetie Boy-Sweet said that the administration decided to release the documents “to show our support for, and solidarity with, the ‘Cancordia 21.’”

The Cancordia 21 are a group of students currently being taken to the provincial court over allegations that they “want to know too much.”

In a motion filed January 12 to the Commission de telling de truth – the provincial body that oversees ATIs – Cancordia alleges that a “complex system” has been put in place by the 21 respondents named in the motion “as a retaliatory measure against Cancordia in the aftermath of the 2011-2012 food fights.”

Cancordia alleges that the group, acting only at night and using advanced technology and “more than one password,” have made “upwards of ten” ATI requests, and that the “systematic” and “repetitious” nature of the ATIs “is abusive and hurtful.”

Cancordia claims that the group’s “troublesome attempts to break through the gates of knowledge using legal means and legally acquired tools such as laptops, pens, and paper [is] upsetting.”

Boy-Sweet told The Twice-a-Weekly that McGall decided to release the documents both to support the Cancordia 21, and because the administration had grown tired of Cancordia’s “deception and lies.”

“Frankly, Cancordia have embarrassed us [universities] all. As institutions, we [universities] are meant to further humanity’s knowledge, not keep it locked away, or use it for bombing innocent people in other countries. We felt the only moral response to their attempt to close the gates of knowledge was to literally just give you everything.”

“We could not, in good conscience, continue to allow McGall’s extensive resources – two campuses, advanced research laboratories, and some of the finest minds alive today – to remain closed to students. The distribution of knowledge and resources are some of this University’s most mission-critical and pressing matters, and must be attended to,” McGall Secretary Admiral Stephen Swoopdown told The Twice-a-Weekly.

The Twice-a-Weekly understands that the total number of documents released exceeds 100,000, something Swoopdown said “was remarkably easy to do because we have computers.”

“We just search and then click print and then get the intern to put them in an envelope. It’s a very simple and cheap process, thanks to computers, electricity, and unpaid labour,” he said.

As well as access codes to all of McGall’s buildings, including what is described as HMB’s “extensive and fully-stocked wine cellar,” the release includes blueprints to the entire downtown campus.

“I drew in the arrows pointing to the military research labs by hand,” said Swoopdown.

The blueprints show that a small, “lair-like” space exists just below the room B24 of the basement of the SSMU building.

“It’s difficult to tell what it’s for,” said U5 Architecture student Ian McBrickington. “But rooms of this type are commonly found in war trenches and medieval castles. [They] were often used for espionage.”