Last Tuesday, October 16, Redpoop Hall was filled with McGall’s most inane phonies, who wished to hold conversations about what kind of conversations to have conversations about. This expression of complete paralysis is called the Consultation Fair.
The institution was originally devised because of the logical necessity of including “consultation” in the portfolio of the Deputy Purveyor of Student Purchases and Receipts. The stated goal of the fair is to “create a positive environment in which administrators and students could run through fields of flowers and eat cheese and bread in loving harmony.”
Previously, the administrators’ plans had been stymied by student radicals who took the opportunity to confront high-ranking University officials and proverbially “wipe-the-floor” with them and their phony bullshit.
In a phone interview, Provost Manthony Assi declined to comment on how he got intellectually trashed by a bunch of snot-nosed brats, but did say that “[he] would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those darn meddling kids.”
Because of administrative fears of a repeat catastrophe, the venue was changed from home turf in the Shatner Building to Redpoop Hall, and the only administrator present was Andrew Kopstapolice.
Student Mandy Liberalismo, U3 Moderate Studies, said that she is skeptical of the biting critiques of the Consultation Fair offered by campus Marxists, such as that “it was all a sham” or that “it was only to present a human face on a structure of exploitation that cares only for consuming the blood of the youth and the workers.”
“When I saw that they [the administration’s lackeys] wrote down what I said on that big sheet of paper and then hung it on the wall underneath one of the forty portraits of white men, it was really obvious that they were listening,” Liberalismo told the Twice-a-Weekly. “I like and trust them as people.”
Campus communists were seen outside the hall smoking cigarettes and handing out liberated cookies in solidarity with all those trapped inside.
Karlos Marx is a Known Student Radical, writer of radical manifestos, and founder of several cigarette-sharing communes.