Compendium | Breaking: SSMU has been occupied

Puppy adorable, weed dank

A mob of five students and one bichon frise dog occupied the parking lot in front of the Shatner building on October 5.

The occupation was staged because of what the protesers say is an “imminent” conflict with SSMU staff about whether or not health and safety regulations mean the dog must be banned from the bar.

The occupation began around noon, and coincided with the day that one of the protesters had brought a dog to school. In addition, the group had finished classes for the day, meaning that the weekend had arrived and many others in the area were relaxing after school or work. Occupier Rudy noted, “woof woof bark [b]ark […] woof.”

Update (4:18 p.m.): The protesters spoke with the Bison and Bulldog about what they hope to accomplish with what they describe as their “insurrection.”

First, they would like to “create a new form of deterritorialized rhizomatic super-skagger that is stratified with intersecting layers of cannabis and tobacco and then pass that dutchie to the left like our liberal baby boomer parents never did,” noted organizer Pauline Derrida.

“If one examines neocultural discourse, one is faced with a choice: either accept the capitalist paradigm of narrative or conclude that sexual identity has intrinsic meaning, but only if Marx’s model of precultural desublimation is valid,” found Derrida, who swiftly situated the analysis on the concrete.

“Under neoliberalism, the subject is contextualized into a cultural postdialectic theory that includes narrativity as a reality. Thus, a number of theories arise which are concerning for not-discourse, as neodialectic materialism suggests. It is within this void that the transcendence of prediscourse may be revealed.”

Update (4:54 p.m.): Protesters have left the SSMU parking lot following news that there was an anticapitalist rendevous at a nearby depanneur, before joining a manifestation downtown.

Eyawn “Karlos” Eekay writes, believes, and consumes neoliberal newsproduct on an hourly basis. Find him eating bison with the bulldog. 

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