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Public, Private, Pubic, Privates

Private parts open debate into role of pubic space

As the school year begins, many students are asking authorities to consider policy changes with regards to the public existence of privates outside of the private sphere.

“There seems to be a concerning trend toward authorities telling youths how they can and cannot act in the public domain. What they don’t understand is that we face very specific problems when it comes to inhabiting space,” said P. Erky Booti, a U3 Twerking major. “For instance, I have a lot of trouble working at home, ’cause I tend to get distracted by my fridge and/or sex toys. So I like to go work at cafes. But I also like to be naked when I study. I don’t think I should have to compromise that,” they continued.

And thus, the issue of pubic nudity has blurred the boundaries of public and private space. But it’s not limited to study-space conundrums. “I always forget when it’s okay to be nude and when it’s not. This morning I went out to get my laundry, and I was pretty nakey, and when I got outside, I thought, maybe this is  a problem, I’m outside, but I’m still on my back porch, so maybe I’m still in private, but maybe my privates are in pubic, so who knows?” said a confused Mina Eck Mybach.

The double entendres and similar spellings of much of the lexicon involved in this issue makes it very difficult to parse the issue, as well as to report on it.

For now, both asses and answers remain pretty much at large.