Compendium | Liberals proclaim victory

Totally miss point

In a stunning display of ignorance as to the true meaning of social struggle, trillions of Quebec liberals threw away their red squares and proclaimed victory over la hausse. Unaware that their victory had been secured by a bigoted populist who doesn’t really give a shit about anything more than gaining power, liberals could be seen celebrating their victory over all forms of oppression, across the world and forever, now that they had finished playing a marginal role in an incomplete social movement.

“I was kind of worried that eventually I’d have to actually do picketing or condemn excessive police violence,” said second year PoliSci shitbag Wyatt Priveledge, talking through a haze of free trade coffee vapor, “but then democracy triumphed, and we won free edu…well we totally increased accessi….erm…nous avons bloqué la hausse!”

Campus conservatives, back from a summer of polishing Capital’s boots aboard the S.S. Marlapunt Hull, were surprisingly overjoyed at the news. “It’s true that we might have to spend another year or two sitting next to poor people in classes,” said Bencer Purger over the phone while bathing in rendered hog fat, “but the truth of the matter is that those bird-brained liberals are going to deflate their own movement and kill it with inertia. Then we just have to wait for the PQ to reinstate the hike and laugh as they shrug their shoulders waiting for another election! BLAM-O, you fools!”

In related news, The Copper Cobra™ is back. Hiss, hiss, Muggles. The bite is back.

 The Copper Cobra is a blood relative of the Platinum Python and is married to the Silver Serpent. Bite, constrict, swallow.

 

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