Article updated Feb. 5, 2012
Wednesday morning, VP Internal Todd Plummer broke the news over the SSMU Listserv that the Faculty Olympics trophy had been stolen from his office.
The event took a shocking twist Friday afternoon when a Facebook profile created for the trophy posted a ransom note on the SSMU Faculty Olympics Facebook group.
The ransom note – posted along with a picture of the trophy – stated, “Dear SSMU, We have your beloved trophy. It is safe…for now!”
Later Friday night, SSMU received a note, again on Facebook, that outlined three demands in order for the trophy to be returned. If not met by the Opening Ceremony of the Faculty Olympics, the trophy will be returned “finger-by-finger.”
The demands include the SSMU Executive videotaping a rendition of “ ‘Rocket Man’ in the style of the great William Shatner” to send out over the SSMU listserv, along with the re-naming of Gert’s coat check to “Sean Turner Memorial Cloak Room.”
This is the first break-in to the SSMU offices, though Wallace Sealy, head of SSMU Security, does not want to think of it as such.
“I’m not referring to this as a break-in,” he said. “I’m quite sure it happened during the day when Todd was around.”
Sealy said that, as of Friday afternoon, he had “two soft leads,” and was still in the process of reviewing security footage of the SSMU office.
Last year’s SSMU VP Internal Tom Fabian acquired the trophy last year. Plummer said is not worth “more than three hundred dollars.”
When asked whether this was an internal attempt to create buzz for the Faculty Olympics, Plummer said that “registration for the [event] filled before I did any advertising, so I would hardly say the event need more buzz.”
“I have so many projects going on…that I really do not have time to entertain the whims of these hooligans,” he added.
The Daily was contacted by one of the anonymous self-proclaimed “abductors” late Friday afternoon. The phone call came from a cell phone registered in Escondido, California, although the abductor stated that they are, at this time, in Montreal.
They reiterated the fact that the trophy was safe and was currently “wolfing down Alto’s and getting ready for a night on St. Laurent.”
Regarding when the trophy was taken, the abductor said they were “surprised” as to how long it has taken Plummer to notice it was missing. They stated the trophy had been gone “a couple months.”
“We are just trying to have a little fun and get everybody into the Faculty Olympics spirit,” they stated.
The abductors wished to remain anonymous, though Plummer stated that he has “a really strong feeling it is someone from EUS… I think it also could be someone from Kinesiology because they won last year.”
When asked if he would participate in negotiations with the abductors, Plummer stated, “We do not negotiate with terrorists, even amateur ones.”