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Occupy Burnside

Science students react to SUS iphones

In the wake of SUS spending over $4,000 on apple products, a new movement has cropped up: Occupy Burnside. As of Monday night, students will be encouraged to spend 24 hours a day, seven days a week, in Burnside basement. There have been debates about whether or not to continue to take advantage of the printing services (which are comped by SUS funds).

The movement, largely organized on Facebook and Twitter (#occupyburnside), has already started drafting a list of suggestions for the SUS with regards to their cell phone bills: Why not use a computer? Why not print out your emails so you can read them when you’re away from your computer? Have you ever read “The Secret? Telecommunication by means of quantum mechanics!” Jeez.

Most say that the intent behind this movement is unrelated to that behind the Wall Street movement.

“Look, I wear bootcut jeans. I went to the Taylor Swift concert,” said Jill Goodnone, a U8 behavioural ecology student.  “Our movement isn’t about changing the world, or singing kumbya – its about a few students in our community who are abusing their power for a the sake of a brand-name gadget.”

When asked Goodnone if she thought that the “We are the 99 per cent” slogan might be applicable to the Occupy Burnside demonstration, she flipped over the back of an envelope and jotted down a few equations before replying, “No, that’s a really egregious misinterpretation of our cause. There are 8 SUS execs, and 20,000 students total, so it’s a question of .04 per cent vs 99.6 per cent. Anyone who tries to confuse the two movements should be aware that there is a 96 per cent error between 1 per cent and .04 per cent. So those figures should not be confused”

I asked her if she knew the origin of the “Occupy” moniker.

“You mean, why is it called, ‘Occupy Burnside’? Because we’ll be here, outside there offices, all the time, showing them that we are here, and we have opinions – in a situation like this, we don’t have many routes to contradict those in power, but we can use our presence to make a point. We can occupy. I don’t know, my friend thought it up.”

“So do you think it’s a funny coincidence that “Occupy Wall Street” uses the same word in its name?”

“No, not at all. Coincidences aren’t funny – they are a normal, rational, part of life. Why are you asking me these things? Have you ever taken a statistics course?”