DIY Valentine’s Day

Feel the love regardless of relationship status

With so much candy and so many hearts floating around campus this week, Valentine’s Day starts to feel a little more grotesque than affectionate, and a little more commercial than considerate.

On top of that, everything is about “that special someone” – assuming everyone in the world is (1) in a relationship; (2) with someone of the opposite gender; (3) with only one other person; (4) is in love with that person; and (5) enjoys showing affection by buying things. Ugh. Well this Valentine’s Day, we propose a few alternatives to all the old usual suspects – chocolate, flowers, getting beer and a song delivered to you in class by the Plumber’s Philharmonic Orchestra, et cetera.

First, why not take Valentine’s Day to love your friends? We have Mother’s Day and Father’s Day; some provinces have Family Day; the U.S. has Presidents’ Day; and we have Veterans’ Day and birthdays, but nothing about basking in awesome hot friendship. Instead of letting all the lame marketing give you a complex about having or not having a single significant other, take some time to think about the many significant people in your life. Bake your best friends a cake, exchange massages by candlelight, play board games until the wee hours of the morning, paint your faces, make a large dinner, and then eat a lot of brownies. The amazing love-celebration options are endless, so don’t let the stereotypes of intimate couples limit your Valentine’s Day.

Second, treat yourself to a little love and masturbate! Like most things we write about here, the topic was probably taboo in your health class, and especially so for women. To set the record clear and straight: masturbation is for everyone. This includes people in relationships, so don’t stop reading even if you’ve had your V-Day planned for two months with your partner.

While pleasure and sex can involve other people, it doesn’t have to. Learning to masturbate and explore your own body can be intimidating due to social stigma, medical terminology, and the way we are taught to think of certain parts of ourselves as dirty, off-limits, or uninteresting. In reality, learning what makes you feel good can be a huge confidence-builder, is lots of fun, and is a great source of information to share with a partner if you do have one.

Masturbating can range from jerking off under the covers, to playing with the shower head, to pinching your nipples, to using a vibrating bullet or dildo. Being alone gives you the opportunity to try new things, whether it be lube, a toy, or being tied up with silk scarves. The point is to feel good (not scared!), so do what you are comfortable with and then explore from there. You’re in control, which means you can choose the pace, the setting, and the action. Just getting started? Choose a place where you feel comfortable, give yourself some time, and begin slowly. Masturbating doesn’t need to be goal-oriented or completely focused on getting off every time, and it doesn’t need to stay between your legs. Start with something you are familiar with, like a mini-massage, and then go from there to wherever and whatever feels good.

We hope these suggestions help make your Valentine’s Day a little more inclusive and exciting. And although all the marketing is overwhelming and annoying, just keep in mind all the great chocolate sales on February 15.