Trashy Spice purrs what everyone thinks but dares not say: we must emphasize food- and nap-related endeavours on campus and end this nonsense we’ve been calling student politics. Given our strong anti-speciesist and pro-self-care ideals, it is with no doubt or reservations that the Centre for Feline Advocacy endorses Trashy Spice for SHMU President. The absence of proper litterboxes on campus has robbed our four-legged comrades of their dignity for too long, and the lack of representation of our kind in student politics has slowly transformed us into passive actors while our bipedal colleagues take advantage of us. It is time to rise up, stretch a bit, and hop on the proverbial forbidden kitchen table to reclaim our rightful place: wherever we fit.
—Tigris, Purrsident of the Centre for Feline Advocacy