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Wishbone episodes that could never be

With episode synopses

The Howling of Lot 49
Wishbone is called to investigate the death of a mysterious ex-lover as the executor of their estate. Amid a groovy late-sixties California backdrop, Wishbone falls deeper and deeper into what appears to be a massive conspiracy involving mailmen… though maybe he’s just chasing his own tail.

The Paw and the Pendulum
When inquisition judges hand down a ruling of “bad, bad boy,” Wishbone knows he’s in the doghouse. Panic sets in as our favourite furry friend flees from a series of torments that make a trip to the vet seem like a walk in the park.

Infinite Fetch
In a near-future world not unlike our own, PetCo has released a chew toy so effective that dogs will chew on it until they die. Various factions – including a group of three-legged francophone poodle nationalists and the new North American government, the L.E.G.H.U.M.P – vie for the chew toy against a backdrop of an elite dog competition training facility and a rehab kennel. With numerous and extensive pawnotes!

Puppy’s Complaint
Wishbone sits down with his psychoanalyst, Dr. Spielvogel, and proceeds to divulge a life of lurid sexual practice, including his special taste for Jewish mothers and dachshunds.

Underwoof
In this special three-hour episode, Wishbone experiences roughly everything that happened in the U.S. between 1950 and 1990, including the Shot Heard Round the World, nuclear paranoia, the comedy of Lenny Bruce, and the evolution of New York. Also, Wishbone is totally cheating on his wife – woof!

A Good Dog is Hard to Find
A family road trip to Florida takes an unexpected turn when a notorious killer escapes from the pound. Confronted with senseless violence at the paws of the rabid ruff-ian, Wishbone has to think fast or get licked.

Gravity’s Rainbow-wow
Wishbone starts the episode as an American soldier in occupied Germany post-World War II, of particular interest to a network of U.S. espionage agents because treats fall wherever he gets erections. Wishbone goes in search of a mysterious missing German dog toy, and then disappears in the last half of the episode. Good luck keeping up!

The Hound and the Furry
Witness the Wishbone family’s tragic decline in the early twentieth-century American South. Told in a shifting stream-of-consciousness style, “The Hound and the Furry” pushes the limits of the children’s educational daytime programming genre.

Love in the Time of Collar-a
The fantastic and devastating story of a romance that’s more than just puppy love. Wishbone stars as a devoted dog who shows the true meaning of man’s – or should we say woman’s – best friend, as he spends his life whining and begging for the beautiful Portuguese Water Dog Fermina.

Madame Rover-y
Wishbone, yearning to escape the provincial backyard with all its meaningless bone-ality, falls into a sordid extra-marital affair.

A Heartbreaking Tail of Staggering Genius
Wishbone is excited to start obedience school when – ruh-roh! – his parents are taken on a one-way veterinary visit. Left alone to raise his siblings in a dilapidated doghouse, this puppy has to grow up quick.

No Country for Old Dogs
Wishbone plays an old sheriff in pursuit of a nihilist dog catcher, on the hunt for a dog who’s dug up a bone he can’t handle. Maybe old dogs really can learn new tricks. Or not.

120 Dogs of Sodom
Four wealthy dogs, Wishbone included, resolve to experience a ruff-rollicking life of debauched breeding sealed in a secluded kennel. When all is said and done, you’ll have a whole new definition of “doggy style.”

SEASON FINALE: Old Yeller
Oh, Jesus…