Skip to content

Westeros Gazette

Daenerys Targaryen

The great white saviour of the series, Daenerys’ mission is to free all people of colour from their own incivility an with a maternal edge. She goes about spreading the good word of freedom and democracy with a single flip of that long silvery-blonde hair. From riches to rags, thin privilege has never looked so good as when this princess exercises the full breadth of her entitlement. Daenerys is so progressive, she even has some primitive slaves as friends – hell, she even married one of those barbaric Dothrakis.

Jon Snow

Ygritte had it right, Jon Snow knows nothing. His blinding male privilege entitles him to all the whining a storyline can handle. Like his other male counterparts, he spends a significant amount of time feeling sorry for himself and the moral duties he must uphold to maintain a gentlemanly reputation. Jon shows us, it’s not easy being the good guy. Keep on victimizing yourself Lord Snow, you’re not annoying anyone.

Arya Stark

It’s hard not to like one of the only badass female protagonists on the show, but this second wave feminist is not without her limitations. Sure, she sports an increasing ‘don’t mess with me’ attitude, but at the end of the day she’s tough just because she takes on masculine characteristics that society deems more powerful than any feminine expression could be. Fuck you patriarchy.

Tyrion Lannister

Tyrion has to deal with a lot. Life, for him, is a constant struggle against an ableist society. He positions himself as an ally to the oppressed – but is he? He plays up to many of the stereotypes about dwarves we’ve come to hate: promiscuous, funny, and in essence, a clown. Not to mention his lording his wealth over lowly peasants and a talent for mass murder. Arrgh but fuck it we love him anyway don’t we? Good ol’ Tyrion, constantly giving two fingers to the man! Plus, his slave-underling (not really a slave, a ‘squire’) is called Pod. What’s not to like?

Joffrey Baratheon

This fucking kid. This spoiled fucking kid. Joffrey thinks that his wealth and power are a legitimate excuse for his misogyny. He embodies white privilege. He is misogynistic, racist, ableist and comes from the most capitalist family in all of the Seven Kingdoms. Every fucking thing Joffrey says is just lukewarm jingoistic Lannister bullshit. Yeah, you’re really proud of being a Baratheon and a Lannister right? Have a talk with your ‘uncle’ Jamie and tell me about it. I hate you and hope you get poisoned at your wedding, oh wait a minute. Spoilers, get at me.

Cersei Lannister

There’s something alluring about one of the most powerful and ambitious women in Westeros, but wits and wiles aside, Cersei is a character to feel sorry for. More capable than most men, and more ruthless, she’s shunted to background of the politicking because of her gender. In that respect, right-on Cersei: keep fightin’ the good fight. Then you remember all the murders she has planned, and her glee in cruelty. Well, hey, at least she doesn’t discriminate in murder.

Tywin Lannister

Ooooh my god this guy is so fucking uptight. Tywin needs to chill the fuck out and smoke a jay with his boys or something. He should stop taking up so much space with his white-cis-male privilege and thinking it’s justified by keeping his family name intact. Tywin fully believes in the problematic Westerosi political structure – he’s a status quo kinda dude. He also takes this all a step further by being taken on the role of the ‘master’, fuck your house Tywin. If he lived in the real world he would probably be a fucked-up mix of George W. Bush, Satan, and a grumpy Santa Claus.