September 15, 2014

Compendium! | January 20, 2014
List of rejected Carnival names by a team of English Majors
Listed by reason for rejection
Written by and

Too Obvious
Moby’s Dick
Charles Dickens
Roland Barf
For Play and Entrance
As You Like It
One Flew Over the Cock-oo’s Nest
Desperate Remedies
Portnoy’s Cumplaint
The Virgin Suicides
Edgar Allan Pole
Jacques Diarrheada
Alice Munro’s New Short Story Collection: Beer Life
The Beer Park
Holes
When You Are Engulfed in Beer
1984 Beers
Sixty-Nine Stories

Shakespeare Wasn’t Even One Person
A Midsummer Night’s Cream
The Hempest
Dick III
King Beer

Totally Over Modernism
A Portrait of the Artist as a Drunk Man
The Lovin’ Song of J. Alfred Prufuck
The Wasted Land
Ezra Pound

White Male Postmodernists
The Crying of Lot 69
Mason & Dickin’
Infinite Keg
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
Imperial Bedrooms
The Rules of Attraction

Canadian
Cumming Through Slaughter
There’s This Trick in Bed I’m Learning to Do: Poems
Anal’s Ghost
How Drunk Should a Person Be?
Stoner Diaries

Ugh, Hemingway?
For Whom the Balls Toll
A Moveable Queef
The Old Man and the Seamen
The Boner Also Rises
A Farewell to Beers

Ancient
Virgin’s the Aeneid
Carpe Noctem
In Vino Veritas

Awards are for Sell Outs
MacArthur Penis Grant
PEEN/Fuckner Award
Stephen Leacock Award

Too Soon
Bong Walk to Freedom

Too Meta
Swords and Scabbards Imagery
The Fight With the Monster in Spenser’s Faerie Queen
Dude The Obscure
This Week Gives Us Total License To Be Loud Assholes
Wow, We Don’t Give A Fuck About Anyone Else on Campus

—Compiled by Heaven Sent and Peein’ More

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