| Sex and an orgy

Warning: This article contains potentially triggering material regarding explicit sexual activity and violent sexuality.

No kissing. No finger fucking of the vagina or anus. No anal. Cumming only between the collarbones and the pelvis. Must change condom between vaginal and oral insertion. Bukkake* only at the end of the activity.

“Have fun and amusez-vous bien.”

I first became aware of the self-titled “gang-bang activity” scene when Ben, who readers might recognize as the man  featured in my “Sex and exhibitionism” (January 24, page 11) column, asked me if I’d like to go to an event with him. I said yes, and he cordially forwarded me an e-invite, complete with pictures of a naked woman, prices (single male $100, male/female couple $20, single female free) and RSVP information. In the end I went with a friend, Kate, the Multimedia editor at The Daily, instead.

The “bang” took place in a deserted building near metro Beaudry, the glass door monikered by a depiction of a generously bosomed woman in silver spraypaint. Confirmation codes at the ready, we buzzed.

Three floors later, Kate and I found ourselves standing in a renaissance-themed BDSM dungeon. There were heavy red velvet curtains over the windows, swords on the walls, masks, chaises, chairs, end tables, candles, chains, a cage, and some Star Wars helmets. There was a mural of a woman in a corset with a knowing smile, and a wing extending from the far wall partitioned by another strung-up velvet curtain, behind which we could see a massage table. There was a mattress in the middle of the room, complete with fitted sheet. We opted to sit in front of the fireplace, on a plastic-covered piano bench directly facing the mattress. Behind us the mantle held a golden helmet, too small for a human head, with eye screws. Five clothed men were already there; they either avoided eye contact or smiled politely at us. Some of them had drinks.

The “star”, Eva, and her boyfriend, Jesus, sat nearer to the foyer, holding hands and talking. She seemed very relaxed, and smiled at us too.

Despite the fact that we were late, the activity had yet to start. Men kept coming in, and soon about 12 men of different ages lounging on the couches and chairs. A male/female couple entered, the man in an orange beanie and the woman in a dress and heels; they sat in the corner to our right, partially obscured by the cage. Finally, the man running the venue stood up, and introduced Eva and her rules. She wanted a woman to undress her, and the other woman obliged, slowly removing her white lace top to reveal a black bra and her white skirt to unveil black underwear. Those, too, came off, and she was left in her heels. The other woman kissed her a little, tweaked her nipples, and went back to her corner.

Eva looked around, and sat on the edge of the mattress, facing her boyfriend. There was a moment of tension until, suddenly, a naked man emerged from the massage wing, walking quickly, and dove forward, face-planting into her vagina. It had begun.

Some spectators slowly removed clothes. Most were a little hesitant, but eventually penises were out and masturbation was happening.  Men began to approach Eva, and soon it seemed she’d reached a maximum of six participants. It was a little crowded.

The fact that the organizers purposefully chose to call the orgy a “gang-bang” is unsettling. The term is often associated with a use of force or the overpowering of a subject for purely sexual purposes, and is frequently broadcast in conjunction with the word “rape.” This, naturally, evokes negative connotations, and Kate and I were both privy to this etymological phenomenon. The moniker deeply coloured our anticipations, and we expected to see dark sexual impulses emerge; we were prepared to feel at least superficially violated. But neither of these things occurred.

Further down the line, the room was a flurry with dicks batting back and forth, and a clothed man made his way through them to us. He wanted to  make sure we were comfortable. He said that Eva and Jesus were swingers, and that this was her first “gang-bang.” He answered some questions and then left to check on Eva. We both became increasingly comfortable and increasingly bored. Kate left and got pizza.

As I sat alone on my plastic-encased bench, a man approached me, fully naked except for his black dress shirt, which was unbuttoned. He was a frequenter of orgies, but he said he preferred events with more women. “I like to kiss a woman, touch her skin – have it take a while. This feels rushed […] [a situation with] more women [is] more fun, but when it’s like this and there are more men, it’s hard to get in there.” He gestures to the men kneeling around the mattress waiting, and then to himself. “As men we look stupid; look at me in my shirt.” I told him that he didn’t look stupid, and that everyone was just comfortable with different things. “Maybe,” he said, “but we look stupid.”

“Call Me Maybe” began to play, and Eva had a dick in her mouth, two in her hand and one in her vagina. My shirted friend (hereafter referred to as Paul) sat down.

“The best things are house parties, in [the suburbs], in the afternoons […] Monday, Wednesday, and then Friday and Saturday night.” The clientele there, he said, are a mix of prostitutes and swinging couples. He likes it better when the women aren’t there for money, but for pleasure. “It’s this joy; you can tell she’s thoroughly enjoying all these lives and all the joy she’s giving them.”

“Gang-bang” is commonly used in the sex circles where the activity itself takes place, and though the bang does sometimes include BDSM and perhaps even fantasy rape scenarios, it doesn’t always. Yet for newcomers with an interest in group sex, or for those who just hear the word in passing, it can denote an expectation of violence that is not necessarily accurate, or, if it is, that is still stigmatized because it’s not interpreted as consenting.

Kate walks back in (done with her pizza run), and Paul jumps up and moves away.

“Whistle” by Flo Rida is playing, and Jesus joins the frenzy. The room gets quiet as they work Eva up to a screaming orgasm. Everyone seems incredibly relieved that she’s climaxed, and Kate and I felt better too. She takes no down time, though, and immediately grabbed two waiting penises.

Paul, now shirtless, had made it into the inner mattress circle, and was the first to visibly cum. As he spouted semen over her right breast, I felt a surge of pride for him. He broke the bukkake barrier and two other ejaculations followed, both within the designated area.

At this point, after Eva’s orgasm and the bukkake, Kate and I felt like we’d gone pretty full circle, and decided to leave. We gathered our backpacks, shook hands with the coordinator of the event, and left to debrief in a Presse Cafe down the street.

Later on, a friend of mine postulated that perhaps the reason it’s called a “gang-bang” is because this elevates the level of taboo, and renders the event more sexually exciting.  Or perhaps it’s a reclamation by the liberated of a previously repressive concept.

Regardless, Eva was consenting and in charge at all times, and no one controlled her body. We’d both been nervous to witness this possibly violent activity, but instead our voyeurism had provided us with a very romantic interpretation of sex. And though the “bang” was initially overwhelming, it was an un-immediate, surprisingly desexualized interpretation as well. It truly was a low-impact experience, and now it simply seemed odd that Kate and I had even gone this long without seeing other people have sex.

As people who are still young in our sexualities, Montreal sets a phenomenal stage for fostering continued growth and discovery in a supportive environment. Heretofore, I’ve yet to take part in the city’s more advantageous offerings, but they abound, sometimes even closer than we think. There was a McGill orgy thread trending on Reddit recently, and, joke or not, there’s potential there.

The next day I went out and got a brazilian wax, inspired by Eva and her sexually liberated self. Afterward, I walked the long way home, humming “whistle baby whistle baby there we go-o-oh.”

 

*the act of two or more men ejaculating onto the body of another person, rather than within an orifice

 

All that Naked Business is a column about sex. You can reach Emery at allthatnakedbusiness@mcgilldaily.com.


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