October 20, 2014

Compendium! | November 12, 2012
French Situationist appointed Dean of Discipline and Irony
Radical infiltrator part of admin “fifth column”
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“Life on Campus is representation. The commoditization of McGill is the decline of being into having, and having into appearing.”

Twice-a-Weekly editorial? Nope. Student Trotskyite? No way.

It’s a statement straight out of the mouth of the new Dean. 

 

The Twice-a-Weekly learned last week that the administration hired a French Situationist and cognitive dissonance aficionado as the new Dean of Discipline and Irony to amuse/distract/subdue actual radicals. The choice is not so surprising, considering it contradicts everything ever and is hilarious. “What I’m doing is in fact, détournement.” The Dean told The-Twice-a-Weekly. “I’m just turning expressions of the capitalist system against itself. Also, I’m pretty sure my salary like doubled. Literally. Check out those sweet digits.”

The Dean said he hoped to “smash” the system and “hang” the bourgeoisies from within by banning or expelling ruffians and students from campus. “I like to frame the issue in terms of rights,” he said. “Not your rights, but the right of others – i.e.: me to send campus security after you.”

“Just because I don’t believe in hierarchy doesn’t mean I can’t take part in it and reinforce it,” he added. “You know how everybody pretends to like looking at baby pictures when they actually don’t? Well, it’s just like that, except destructive.”

“Also, life is a spectacle, et cetera,” he added.

Upon learning of the Dean’s appointment, anarcha-feminist militant and legit radical Judith Sedgwick told the Twice-a-Weekly, “Get the fuck out. Is this a joke?”

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